Different stages in your caring role

3 minute read

Many carers find that they go through different ‘stages’ during their caring role. It’s useful to understand that these stages are normal, and you can get help at every stage.

It’s also useful to realise that you may go through some stages several times. Every caring situation is different.

Noticing changes

You may start your caring role by noticing something wrong with someone close to you. The changes may be physical or mental. You may notice changes happening quickly or over a long time. It might take some time to find out what’s wrong.

If you are at this stage, you can:

  • talk with family and friends about what you have noticed
  • talk with your doctor about what you have noticed
  • look for information online about symptoms and possible diagnoses

Confirmation

You may start your caring role when you receive a diagnosis from a health professional. You may need to make decisions about treatment and care. It’s a good idea to find out as much as you can about the condition and what you can expect.

If you are at this stage, you can:

  • talk with your doctor about what you can expect and what treatment they recommend
  • talk with family and friends and start planning care
  • look for information online about the condition and possible treatments

Surviving

Once you know about the condition of the person you care for, you start a routine of treatment and care. You work out what they need in health care and personal care, and you contact health professionals who might help you.

If you are at this stage, you can:

  • talk with Carer Gateway about what support you can get (call 1800 422 737 Monday to Friday between 8am and 5pm)
  • talk with your doctor or other health professionals about equipment or strategies that might help you
  • talk with other carers who care for people with the same or similar conditions (you can join our online carer forum)

Managing

At this stage, you have set up a routine and organised some of the support you need. This stage can be stable, but you can also experience emergencies that take you back to the Surviving stage.

If you are at this stage, you can:

  • make an emergency care plan
  • find out what other help you can get at home or in the community
  • explore ways to manage your stress

Thriving

At this stage, you have not only established routines for the person you care for, but know how to handle emergencies and have ongoing ways to care for yourself and manage your stress.

If you are at this stage, you can:

  • take a break and get help when you need it
  • have time for yourself and for your other family and friends
  • return to work or study

Life after caring

At some stage, your caring role may come to an end – either when the person you care for recovers, when they die, or when they leave your care and other people take over the caring role. You may need to deal with grief, and will need to plan for your life after caring.

If you are at this stage, you can:

  • get personal or grief counselling
  • talk with other carers who may have experienced the end of care
  • join community groups

Your changing role

As a carer, you will probably experience different stages in your caring role.

As time passes, you might not be able to help the person you care for as much as you do now. That could be because of work, financial pressures, your health or family situation, or other reasons.

What might change with your role

It’s important to start thinking about what changes might take place. Think ahead and ask yourself these questions. If things change:

  • Who will care for the person I now care for? Is there a back-up carer, and could they become a full-time carer?
  • Where will the person live? Will they stay in their current home, move in with another family member, or get residential care?

Getting help with your changing role

You can talk with the person you care for, to ask what they would like. You can talk with your family and doctor about the options available. 

You can put things in place to make it easier to make changes over time. For example, someone else could step in to have guardianship or power of attorney for the person you currently care for, and you could start to organise that.

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